In the society where I belong, majority of people would always say find someone to love, get married and build a family because only a minority really grows old alone.
But, I do not want to look for love as if there is a void to fill.
I’m not hypocrite. We would always look for love and it was inculcated in our brains that the only way to find it is by having a partner. Someone who we can spend a lifetime with. It is what society has been dictating as IDEAL but the world is changing. Not everyone is given that opportunity.
Some people grow old alone and people tend to think that it is miserable. I find it miserable for women who say they cannot afford new clothes because they need to feed their children. That they do not have enough time for themselves. That they have to sacrifice things. I love that I do not have those things as a problem.
Married people out there who gave up their dreams, their careers for families is just the opposite of unmarried people who choose their careers and dreams over people’s love. Maybe, they are more in love in what they do and that they choose it. That they choose to be alone because in silence there is peace.
A friend told me once that choosing to be alone is braver than looking for someone to love and I agree that being alone is a hard but it is not actually a first choice but it is how the path in life led some people.
I do not want to say that it is my choice to be alone. No one is stupid enough to say no to a love she thinks she deserves.
However my focus is not looking for someone to love because the more I look for it, the more I encounter wrong choices and it is just hurtful but looking forward to achieving my goals give me a sense of reason to live. Maybe, there will be some people that will be a great part and reasons of my existence. Maybe, they would serve as inspirations or lessons but to those people who were led by life to walk a path alone at this very moment then maybe enjoy it and have a purpose for yourself.
Some people will never grasp the concept that alone is happy too.
Just like married people or those with partners or families. There are battles in the path that life leads you. There are lonely days and hard times and dealing with those things alone and pulling yourself together is never an easy task. But just like the path of anyone, there are pros and cons.
I love how being alone makes me a better person. I love how it makes me strong to say no to things I do not deserve, to not be afraid of the future, to easily let go of things even of people that I love the most.
Also, single people are not actually alone because there are always people that would willingly share the path with you. They might leave or might stay for a long time but that’s not what’s important. The most important thing is you know that there is not an empty space in your heart or a reserved space in your heart. It is always open for people to come and go.
You’ll always move forward with or without anyone. You have the freedom to decide what’s best for you. There will be days that people will judge you and would tell you to not lose hope in finding love but you, yourself is love. That they will never grasp.
That just like those people who grew old alone and died alone. They were never alone. People cared for them along the way. I think it is not about being single, married or whatever kind of relationship status that you have but how fulfilled and contented you feel. That is what matters the most.
IT'S ME RHEN 