Phenomenon

People should learn how to detach themselves from anything that pained them. The process is difficult but learning how to be detached from surreal ideas keeps a person not away from pain but to handle the feeling well. It helps a person to channel his energy into something productive. Once you are focused doing things for yourself, it might be a new hobby, a more challenging task at work or simply getting involve on things which you find interesting is a good way to start, you’ll tend to appreciate the phase that you are in right now.

FOCUS IN THE NOW. Listen to people’s ideas, drop the unhelpful thoughts and absorb and reflect on the helpful ones.

Be true to yourself, you are in pain. It hurts so bad because you have no control over it. You can’t change the situation and the only thing you can do is to face the reality that things are not happening the way you want it.  That no matter how much efforts you give, it seems that it would never be enough to get what you want.

Nothing is wrong with you. It’s how you perceive things and your stubbornness that are wrong. Listen, you cannot change a person’s feelings towards you. You can never dictate a person to feel what you want him to feel. And thinking about it all day long is not the right way of handling the process.

LET GO.   You must let it go. Stay focused in the now. Exactly at this very moment, think of what you can do. Exercise? Read a book? Meet a friend? Spend time with yourself? Set goals? Just think of the now, not about tomorrow, not about the future, not about regrets from the past. Inhale. Focus on what you are doing. Don’t think of what might go wrong. Don’t think of not having your heart’s desires.

LET LIFE DO ITS THING. Phenomenon happens for certain reasons. Series of events, human made or not but it does happen in an instance surprisingly without any delay. It shatters life. Catastrophically, changes our plans. Everyone’s life is a series of phenomena, abrupt, life threatening, earth shocking and catastrophic. But phenomena are interesting. It could be tested without even knowing the result of several hypotheses. That propositions can be like people. Some will be solidified through experimentation and some will be nullified, some would stay because we are still curious as to how they affect the phenomena. We postulate hypotheses; we theorize until one’s curiosity is satisfied.

Our feelings, how we associate love to people, how we curiously observe the details, how we cling onto our subjective hypotheses without scientific basis, without being tested, without statistical support will reach a conclusion but now just be in the process…

Mourning Perception

I had a conversation with a friend and this how it goes.

Friend:  He left me.  (Sobbing)
Me:  My mom died three weeks ago. (Smiled)
Friend: Puzzled.
Me: Perception.  I guess.

I think the way we perceive things makes the difference. Most of the time, I keep things to myself because how I see things differs from others’ point of view and they have a hard time understanding.

It’s not about acceptance. It’s how we deal with the process. Sometimes, people are focused as to what was lost instead of what was gained. That it’s too hard for almost everyone to realize that adversity is a channel to better the self.

Sometimes, people tend to prolong the agony because it is never easy to accept an invaluable lost. However, we have no control over people.

Love is being prepared everyday of losing a person we value and the only thing we could do is to cherish each moment that we can be with them.

Love is never needy but is grateful for all aspects inculcated in it.

image

People come and go, no matter how much we love them. It takes courage to find happiness in a sad situation and perseverance to become a better person afterward.

True, ending is a beginning. I feel renewed.

Binusted ako ng Bestfriend Ko!

Ang saklap pala ma-busted. Masaklap na nakakatawa. Minsan yung katapangan ko kinakainisan ko to eh. Kasi di ko kayang pigilan na huwag ipahayag yung nararamdaman ko.

Ganito kasi yun, may friend ako sobrang tagal ko ng kaibigan, mga more than a decade na. Ever since sobrang sweet namin sa isa’t-isa. May mga oras na dine-deny ko na may malisya, minsan pangkaibang messages at texts lang talaga. May mga panahon din na eh siyempre binibigyan ko ng malisya eh type ko eh. Kaso nganga pala ko.

Anyway, dati naman may feelings yun sa akin eh feeling maganda ko so binalewa ko lang siya kasi wala eh natakot akong i-nourish yung feelings ko for him.  Bakit? Ako kasi yung tipo ng tao na kapag illogical at di maintinidhan, I drop it. Dati yun nung bata pa ko. Sabi ko bakit ako natutuwa sa kanya, bakit parang sobrang saya ko pag kasama siya? Bakit kahit puyat na puyat na ko, kakausapin ko siya pag may problema siya? Bakit masaya ko pag nakikita ko siya?

Love pala yun. Ano bang malay ko?

Ngayong tumanda na ko naiintindihan ko na. Hindi na ko napakali. Bawat ka sweetan niya may malisya na. Bawat text, bawat yakap, bawat pagkikita, lahat bigla ko ng nilagyan ng madaming kalandian at malisya.

Kaso huli na pala lahat. Siguro yung dati niyang pagtingin wala na talaga eh. Naubos na. Medyo engot din kasi ko, sinabihan ko siya na mag move on sa akin dati. Sana di ko pala yun sinabi eh di nagkachance pa ko.

Sa palagay ko, ginawa ko naman na talaga ang lahat. Hindi ko yun ikakahiya. Eh ano naman? I just expressed what I feel. Hindi yun masama. Ang masama siguro eh yung sabihin mo yung nararamdaman mo at magalit ka sa tao na di siya ganun sayo.

Yang love na yan, putang-ina yan, ang complicated. Di mo mapipilit. Wrong timing minsan. Pero di na yun mahalaga. Importante eh naramdaman mo yung love..love na yan. At least alam mo na di ka manhid. At higit sa lahat naparamdam at naipahatid mo ang feelings mo, wala ka ng what if, wala ka ng i-hold back.

Yun kasi ang nagpapasakit sa tao, yung maging tameme ka na lang at wag sabihin sa tao kasi gusto mo na umasa forever. Eh kaso walang forever, mabuti ng sabihin mo kaysa bukas mamamatay ka na pala di mo man lang nasabi sa tao, eh di mumultuhin mo pa, kawawa naman. Huwag kang matakot marinig ang sagot. Akala mo lang kasi na masakit pero pag narinig mo na pagtatawanan mo na lang sarili mo sa bandang huli.

Mahirap gawin pero iyon talaga ang tama. Huwag ka umasa. Magmahal ka lang.

Sabi ko nga libre naman magmahal. Swerte ka na lang kung mahal ka rin ng taong mahal mo.

Ayos na rin naman ako. Ramdam ko naman na may pakialam siya, hindi man sa paraan na gusto ko at least sa paraang alam niya. 🙂

Yakap na May Malisya

Nanuod ako ng Big Hero 6 at ito ang naisip ko.

there there

Baymax, Yakapin Mo Ako

Kapag niyakap ka ng kaibigan mo habang may matinding pinagdaraan sa buhay sobrang sarap nun sa pakiramdam. Kasi alam mo na may mga taong lagi lang nandyan para sayo. Kaso, walang special effect, kung baga sa siopao, mas lasa ang mantau hindi ang laman.

Siguro, sadyang may mga yakap lang na gustong-gusto mo. Yung may kaakibat na napakaraming malisya, kilig at kalandian. Kasi damang-dama mo, may special feelings kung baga sa siopao, pinaghalong asado’t bola-bola na.
Ang masaklap lang kahit jumbo siopao pa yan, nilagyan mo pa ng special sauce at hot sauce, kahit gaano katagal at unti-unti mong namnamin, mauubos at mauubos. Ganun naman yata lahat ng sarap, ang tindi sa una pero habang patagal na ng patagal, nauubos. Kung baga sa load, hindi laging unlimited. At minsan susukuan mo na lang kasi nakakaumay.

Ayos lang naman kung may expiration date. Hindi na yun mahalaga. Ang importante nayakap ka sa panahong matindi ang pangangailangan mo. Umalis man, naiwan naman amoy, ayos na rin. Maubos man amoy, may ala-ala pa naman.

Butas na Pag-ibig

Kung nakakabili lang ng bagay ang love. Ang dami ko ng pag-aari. Eh ang kaso, pagnagmahal ka instead na dumami pera mo lalo kang naghihirap. Kasi syempre, gusto mo kasama siya. Eh di siyempre lalabas kayo. Kakain kayo, nuod kayong sine. Ang dami mo ng niregalo tapos ang masaklap minsan eh iiwanan ka niyang luhaan.

butas

Yang pag-big na yan, bubutasin na bulsa mo, bubutasin pa pati puso mo.

Eh ganun daw kasi talaga yun. Pero minsan kasi matututo lang tayo pag naging tanga na tayo. Kaya ang payo ko lang ay:

Ingat-ingat sa pag invest ng feelings. Minsan akala mo for real, scammer pala.

Singleness Madness 10 things to do list. :)

To Do List It’s been a while since I have been single so I have nothing to do but to enjoy the moment. 🙂 1. Go to the Beach. Just realized that traveling should be a part of life. 2. Eat in a cozy not so fancy restaurant. I love to eat. Not just eat but eat good comforting food. Asian food has been too comforting to the point that I forgot to try other cuisine. So, no to Asian food this summer. 3. Explore new coffee. Cafe Latte is out of the equation. Yeah! I love coffee but I think, I had been fixated with cafe latte. Have to try really something bold and new. 4. Lose weight then eat a lot! Sigh! Don’t want to be in a so depressed mood so need not tell anything about it. 🙂 Sigh! 5. Try some more alcohol. I don’t drink. Really. I don’t. But there’s nothing wrong naman siguro if I want to try something new. 🙂 6. Swim although exercising is hell. Yeah! Swimming has been a part of my life. Without it, I’m a balyena! 🙂 Hahaha

Kung ang passion ko sa paglamon ay kasing intense ng passion ko sa pag workout siguro ang sexy ko na. Kaso, ayan tayo eh!

7. Watch a movie alone. Watched a concert alone. Also, have to do this one. 8. Spend more time with family. 9. Cook something new. Even though, MOST OF THE TIME it’s not appreciated at least I’m trying my best on this one. 🙂 10. Work hard and Save money! This is what I love about now. I can be independent and realized that I don’t have to depend on anyone. BONUS: Live life to the fullest. Love Like I have never been hurt. 🙂 In the end, I just wanna love and be loved again. 🙂 Wala naman sigurong masama maging choosy kahit walang choices.

Kung sa panget nga may pumatol eh sa mataba na di masyadong kagandahan meron din naman siguro! Sa ngayon, I’ll just enjoy the moment. 🙂