A Pause in A Walk

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CBTL Brew Your Best Year x Art of Movement

People who have the same intent always find a way to get close together. I never attended any writing workshop and glad to have the first one with Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf.

The Brew Your Best Year in collaboration with Art of Movement was indeed a great experience. Getting to know new people who have the same passion while having a free coffee and snacks never happens always.

Below is an insight about the experience.

Why are we scared to lose the battle?

If you want it, go for it, even if it breaks you, even if it takes away your life. After all, it is the purpose of existence. It’s a powerful motivation that I keep on telling to myself without realizing that I also need to pause.

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Have you paused today? I have been running for a while now, grasping for air, then here comes the idea of walking.

Walking is associated in everything that we do. We are in a trance of interconnected kaleidoscope. Its’ intricacies of fragmented yet beautiful interconnections, as we maneuver the scope, make the connection vaguely clear. The only thing we could do is to adjust and to appreciate what we clearly see. We have to adjust in order to appreciate what’s in our hand.

Appreciation is a hard-to-define word nowadays for people tend to appreciate the things they don’t have, hence would do any type of maneuvering just to be satisfied with whatever they have. No one is content and no one is perfectly grateful because perfection is boredom.

So we failed to appreciate how perfectly the interconnected intricacies are put together. We failed to see how beautiful life is. We failed to notice the realistic present for we are too excited for the idealism of the future. That we failed to walk today. That we think we should run for we have to finish the marathon faster than the others but it’s exhausting, emotionally draining and spiritually heartbreaking.

Why do we run if all we really need is to walk, to just enjoy the movement of the environment? Why do we have to exhaust ourselves if what we really need is to just breathe?

Today, walking acts as a symbolism of pause. It reminds me that the present serves as an arbiter between the past and the future. That each has his own way to pause to bring back the balance of spontaneity because life is never perfect, unplanned and indeed spontaneous.

The past is just a memory and the future is an illusion. So, no matter how busy and fast-paced life is, I think, we should pause. We should stop and to be just in the moment.

The event made me realize the pauses I had in the past few years and transition those pauses into the future.

Winning the battle isn’t really what is at stake but the moments when we pause to experience life.

Yeah! I think, that’s the reason why we write, to pause, to explore what’s inside us and to outwardly gravitate towards the world.

Movie: Can’t Help I’m Falling In Love

Girls paano ba kumalma?

Miss, steady.

Kung huling araw mo na sa mundo ano ba gusto mo ginagawa mo?

Kaw, ano pa ba inaantay mo? Sayang ang oras. Live life now. Drop the mic.

Bud, we’ve been together for 6 years.

Let’s make it legal. Are you willing to spend forever with me?

 

Legal nga talaga to, misis nga talaga kita.

 

Gusto mo pigain ko yang abdo mo?

Violence, I like.

 

Ma, pa akalain niyo, kinasal ako? Sayang di niyo siya nakilala. Ang galing nagkita kami ulit.

Mrs. Ko, wala man akong abs, ako pa rin ang pinakasalan mo.

So pano na tayo maghihiwalay?

 

Alam mo ba ano ang pinaka malaking psychological problem? Pag-ibig.

Ang daming baliw sa pag-ibig.

 

Paano naman ako Gab? Kailangan kong magtrabaho. May oras akong hinahabol.

Ikakamatay mo ba pag hindi ka kinasal sa boyfriend mo? Ako na magsasabi sayo. Hindi. Tsaka tignan mo yang itsura mo ang desperada mo.

Nagmahal ka na ba? Minahal ka na ba? If not, then I’m so sorry that you’ve never been loved that you’re so afraid to lose it.

 

Parang si Gab lang naman nagpapasakit ng ulo ko eh.

Ay talagang sakit sa ulo yang mga asawa.

 

Mahirap ang mahulog o mahirap ang umalis?

Yan ang kasal. Yan ang pag-aasawa. Mahirap.

Pipiliin mo pa rin ang wag mo siyang iwan

kasi….

Ako, kasi mahal ko mama two mo. I

kaw, bakit?

 

Nandito misis ko. Eh kaso maghihiwalay na rin kami, sana magbago isip niya.

Kaya naman pala sa lahat ng bagay siya ang nagdedesisyon para sayo.

Kasi ganun talga siya strong, stable.

Future. A lifetime together, forever.

Habang buhay.

Mahal niya eh, hindi na ko lalaban. Tsaka panghabang buhay yun di ko rin naman kayang bigay sa kanya yun.

So, pag ganyan, hindi ka pwedeng magkamali kahit kelan?

Grabeh noh, may mga tao pa pala na kagaya niya. Hindi madamot.

Limited edition. For a limited time only.

Mahal ang oras mo, I can’t take it for free.

Madaming church dito, pag nakita mo yung para sayo, sigurado mararamdaman mo.

Kung may kakagat man sayo sa ilalim, ako lang yun.

Ang importante, pagkatiwalaan mo ko. Do you trust me?

Sineryoso kasi nila masyado ang death do us part, kaya magkasunod silang umakyat ng langit.

Alam mo sa totoo lang, nakakatakot magmahal kasi sa pag-ibig hindi ka sigurado. Diba, nakakatakot ang bagay pag di ka sigurado?

Pero ng nakilala kita narealized ko mas nakakatakot pag pinili mo na hindi magmahal. Kasi sa totoo lang, hindi mo naman kailangan maging sigurado. Basta nandyan ka, okay na ko.

Makuha ka sa tingin, ito nakuha na.

Napakahirap Dos, sana sumugal kami.

Pag nagmahal ka, bawat minuto, bawat sandali mahalaga.

Mali toh eh.

Gab, pero ito yung totoo.

Love takes time.

Paano pag walang time?

Love makes time.

That one and only night I felt free.

That one night na totoo lang tayo sa nararamdaman natin.

Ikaw yung babaeng panghabangbuhay ko.

Pero hindi ako yung lalaking para sayo, dahil hindi ko kaya ibigay yung panghabang buhay na kailangan mo.

Pinatikim mo ko na may pag-asa. Pag natikman mo pala nakaka-adik umasa. For a moment, I was selfish. For a moment, I wanted more.

We can’t stay in a relationship because we are thankful.

You will never see me as an equal. 

Phenomenon

People should learn how to detach themselves from anything that pained them. The process is difficult but learning how to be detached from surreal ideas keeps a person not away from pain but to handle the feeling well. It helps a person to channel his energy into something productive. Once you are focused doing things for yourself, it might be a new hobby, a more challenging task at work or simply getting involve on things which you find interesting is a good way to start, you’ll tend to appreciate the phase that you are in right now.

FOCUS IN THE NOW. Listen to people’s ideas, drop the unhelpful thoughts and absorb and reflect on the helpful ones.

Be true to yourself, you are in pain. It hurts so bad because you have no control over it. You can’t change the situation and the only thing you can do is to face the reality that things are not happening the way you want it.  That no matter how much efforts you give, it seems that it would never be enough to get what you want.

Nothing is wrong with you. It’s how you perceive things and your stubbornness that are wrong. Listen, you cannot change a person’s feelings towards you. You can never dictate a person to feel what you want him to feel. And thinking about it all day long is not the right way of handling the process.

LET GO.   You must let it go. Stay focused in the now. Exactly at this very moment, think of what you can do. Exercise? Read a book? Meet a friend? Spend time with yourself? Set goals? Just think of the now, not about tomorrow, not about the future, not about regrets from the past. Inhale. Focus on what you are doing. Don’t think of what might go wrong. Don’t think of not having your heart’s desires.

LET LIFE DO ITS THING. Phenomenon happens for certain reasons. Series of events, human made or not but it does happen in an instance surprisingly without any delay. It shatters life. Catastrophically, changes our plans. Everyone’s life is a series of phenomena, abrupt, life threatening, earth shocking and catastrophic. But phenomena are interesting. It could be tested without even knowing the result of several hypotheses. That propositions can be like people. Some will be solidified through experimentation and some will be nullified, some would stay because we are still curious as to how they affect the phenomena. We postulate hypotheses; we theorize until one’s curiosity is satisfied.

Our feelings, how we associate love to people, how we curiously observe the details, how we cling onto our subjective hypotheses without scientific basis, without being tested, without statistical support will reach a conclusion but now just be in the process…

Mourning Perception

I had a conversation with a friend and this how it goes.

Friend:  He left me.  (Sobbing)
Me:  My mom died three weeks ago. (Smiled)
Friend: Puzzled.
Me: Perception.  I guess.

I think the way we perceive things makes the difference. Most of the time, I keep things to myself because how I see things differs from others’ point of view and they have a hard time understanding.

It’s not about acceptance. It’s how we deal with the process. Sometimes, people are focused as to what was lost instead of what was gained. That it’s too hard for almost everyone to realize that adversity is a channel to better the self.

Sometimes, people tend to prolong the agony because it is never easy to accept an invaluable lost. However, we have no control over people.

Love is being prepared everyday of losing a person we value and the only thing we could do is to cherish each moment that we can be with them.

Love is never needy but is grateful for all aspects inculcated in it.

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People come and go, no matter how much we love them. It takes courage to find happiness in a sad situation and perseverance to become a better person afterward.

True, ending is a beginning. I feel renewed.

Project Kapiranggot: General Motors Diet (Day 3)

DAY 3 RULE: Only Fruits and Veggies today. No Bananas. No Potatoes. No starchy food.

Today was EASY! However, I didn’t follow it strictly. I haven’t had veggies today, I just didn’t notice that I didn’t. I just had fruits just like day 1.

I only had 3 apples and 1 mango today. Also, I had 2 cups of coffee with 1 sachet of brown sugar each. LOL! CHEATER! I didn’t weigh today. I’ll just weigh after the 7th day. 🙂 EXCITED!

So, let’s see what’s gonna happen tomorrow because I am so excited for Bananas and Milk! Sigh!

SA WAKAS!!! I can eat food that I would enjoy!

 

Project Kapiranggot: General Motors Diet (Day 2)

I’m on Day 2!

DAY 2 RULE: 1 Large Potato for breakfast with butter on top and any vegetables the whole day.

Literally, I cannot eat veggies alone. Today was  STRUGGLE! 

The only way to survive was I divided the large potato since I can’t eat it all at once. Har! har! I ate one in the morning and another in the afternoon. No matter what kind of explanation the GM diet has as to why I should only eat the potatoes once. I CAN’T!

Of course, coffee is part of today’s diet and I put brown sugar on it! I had 2 or 3 cups today! Lol!

 

I cheated a lot. However, the weighing scale shows result. I’m now 46.5 kg from 48kg. Water loss I think! Aja! Tomorrow will be easier since I can eat fruits.

By the way, water made me survive the day.

For post related to fitness please visit: pinayfitnessjourney

Project Kapiranggot: General Motors Diet (Day 1)

Yes! A friend said that he was on GM diet. I really got curious and tried to know the in and outs of the program. My body has been tired exercising for the past week and so I decided to give it another week of rest but the catch is I have to undergo GM diet.

So, I’m on first day. 🙂

Today, I am only allowed to eat fruits. Just whole fruits. Fruit shake or fruit juices are not allowed. Tea and coffee are allowed but of course no sweetener, milk or creamer. BUT I CHEATED! I’m having black coffee with small amount of brown sugar or cocosugar.

It’s 6 pm already. I’m at work. I only have 5-6 hours of sleep per day but I can do this! Gonna put into writing again what’s going to happen on day 2. 🙂

Aja!

 

For post related to fitness please visit: pinayfitnessjourney