Phenomenon

People should learn how to detach themselves from anything that pained them. The process is difficult but learning how to be detached from surreal ideas keeps a person not away from pain but to handle the feeling well. It helps a person to channel his energy into something productive. Once you are focused doing things for yourself, it might be a new hobby, a more challenging task at work or simply getting involve on things which you find interesting is a good way to start, you’ll tend to appreciate the phase that you are in right now.

FOCUS IN THE NOW. Listen to people’s ideas, drop the unhelpful thoughts and absorb and reflect on the helpful ones.

Be true to yourself, you are in pain. It hurts so bad because you have no control over it. You can’t change the situation and the only thing you can do is to face the reality that things are not happening the way you want it.  That no matter how much efforts you give, it seems that it would never be enough to get what you want.

Nothing is wrong with you. It’s how you perceive things and your stubbornness that are wrong. Listen, you cannot change a person’s feelings towards you. You can never dictate a person to feel what you want him to feel. And thinking about it all day long is not the right way of handling the process.

LET GO.   You must let it go. Stay focused in the now. Exactly at this very moment, think of what you can do. Exercise? Read a book? Meet a friend? Spend time with yourself? Set goals? Just think of the now, not about tomorrow, not about the future, not about regrets from the past. Inhale. Focus on what you are doing. Don’t think of what might go wrong. Don’t think of not having your heart’s desires.

LET LIFE DO ITS THING. Phenomenon happens for certain reasons. Series of events, human made or not but it does happen in an instance surprisingly without any delay. It shatters life. Catastrophically, changes our plans. Everyone’s life is a series of phenomena, abrupt, life threatening, earth shocking and catastrophic. But phenomena are interesting. It could be tested without even knowing the result of several hypotheses. That propositions can be like people. Some will be solidified through experimentation and some will be nullified, some would stay because we are still curious as to how they affect the phenomena. We postulate hypotheses; we theorize until one’s curiosity is satisfied.

Our feelings, how we associate love to people, how we curiously observe the details, how we cling onto our subjective hypotheses without scientific basis, without being tested, without statistical support will reach a conclusion but now just be in the process…

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Mourning Perception

I had a conversation with a friend and this how it goes.

Friend:  He left me.  (Sobbing)
Me:  My mom died three weeks ago. (Smiled)
Friend: Puzzled.
Me: Perception.  I guess.

I think the way we perceive things makes the difference. Most of the time, I keep things to myself because how I see things differs from others’ point of view and they have a hard time understanding.

It’s not about acceptance. It’s how we deal with the process. Sometimes, people are focused as to what was lost instead of what was gained. That it’s too hard for almost everyone to realize that adversity is a channel to better the self.

Sometimes, people tend to prolong the agony because it is never easy to accept an invaluable lost. However, we have no control over people.

Love is being prepared everyday of losing a person we value and the only thing we could do is to cherish each moment that we can be with them.

Love is never needy but is grateful for all aspects inculcated in it.

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People come and go, no matter how much we love them. It takes courage to find happiness in a sad situation and perseverance to become a better person afterward.

True, ending is a beginning. I feel renewed.

Independent Woman

No one wants to be alone.  At the end of the day, there will always be this thought about having a partner. That someone who will ask about your day. That someone who will be willing to share a life with you.

But not having that person beside you doesn’t mean loneliness. Being alone is NECESSARY. It gives you a tranquil mind to realize that you can really be alone, a person without a partner but happy. It doesn’t mean that you’re closing your door to love and to be loved but it’s never a bad thing to enjoy a little more of yourself.

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People might never understand why I enjoy having a meal or sipping coffee alone. But it makes me happy. It gives me a sense of realization that spending time with myself is happiness. It’s vital to feel comfortable in aloneness and to never feel the need that you’re missing something. That you are independent and would never choose to be in a relationship out of loneliness.

If there will come a day that I would decide to allow someone to join me, I would allow him because it’s going to be a new exciting chapter of my life.

But I will never wait or rush.

Today, I’m enjoying an exciting chapter of my life and I appreciate it.

From being a dependent childish, I am proud that I am now a woman who makes mature decisions for herself. I learned and I have so much more to share.

Just continue being happy. Live in the moment. Be excited for surprises. And celebrate FREEDOM!

HAPPY WOMEN’S DAY!

One True Love

One true love is not real. It only exists in fairytale. I’m not a princess and a suave prince charming doesn’t exist. However, love is a wonderful feeling. I realized that people get broken-hearted, move on and fall in love again.

Everyone falls in love not only to just a person but to different people in his entire life. In an untimely love, there are two types of people. People who just choose not to nourish some emotions or people who brutally nourish feelings that they must let go. The reason behind is we never forget the people nor the feelings. We just tend to live with it.

We accept things, simply because there are some things that we cannot change. The only way to live a happy life is to focus on the things that we can change and let go of the things that we can’t. It is just difficult to accept things for some people because we have the tendency of wanting to control things. However, reality bites and we cannot control a lot of things.

Love is the most uncontrollable force that flows freely. It is incomprehensible and that what makes it interesting.

No Holding Back

I had the courage to finally say what I feel for a guy. I’ve been telling him for the past few months how I love him for the past few years but it seems to me that everything I’ve said didn’t sink in his mind.

Probably he thought, it was just too simple that can easily get out of my system. Last week, finally I told him the whole story and my real feelings that I have been keeping for so long. I kept it because I was too coward to face the reality that I might feel upset and devasted if I’ll be rejected.

He was shocked with what I’ve said. I got no response. The funny thing is, I felt sad. But as reality already proved that it’s not going somewhere, I realized that fear is just in the mind.

All the sweet messages, memories and moments just led me to illusive dreams and wishful thinking. Yeah! Crazy but I love that guy for more than a decade. It’s just that I didn’t nourish the feeling for an unreciprocated love is never easy to handle.

What I’ve learned?

Be bold. Never be afraid to say whatever you feel no matter what the consequences are. Even if you’re afraid that the answer might not be in your favor there will be a sense of relief. Being relieved is better than holding onto something that would lead nowhere.

The idea of hearing what we don’t want to hear takes away courage. Just say the things that you want to say. Rejection is not a bad thing at all being coward is!

What I realized?

A friend told me that it’s mind over matter. Most of the time our minds want to take control, even of things we can’t control. That’s where things screw up.

I’m happy with the kind of relationship that I have with him. Nowadays, I’ve been facing a lot of difficulties and in a way, he has always been there for me and probably I have been too comfortable with his kindness . I also realized that I can handle things on my own. I should just be thankful that there’s someone like him who is very willing to give some of his time for me. That’s enough.

Never on the same page…

Why do our feelings never coincide? I love you for so many times in so many ways without you knowing because you never stood up for me. But who am I to ask for it? I who ran away and chose to be secured than to be loved?

Why do we never get the chance to have the same feelings at the same time?

You were in love with me when I wasn’t and I was in love with you when you weren’t.

Why?

I was too hesitant to show it because I was afraid that if I do, I might lose you.

Why do I feel too sad whenever you’re holding another girl’s hand and hypocritically say be happy? I’m so selfish. I never think about your feelings. In so many ways, I’ve caused you pain and unintentionally pushed you away.

What I realized after so many years, love knows no fear. I can’t ever lose someone because I can never own anyone and being away from the person we love doesn’t guarantee that we might be able to move on and to never love them again.

From afar, I have loved you always. But I was afraid to let go of what I had before because I was too immature to realize that a person should learn to live alone to see what matters the most.

The kind of love I have for you is so illogical. It’s bizarre and overwhelming. It’s a repressed feeling; I desired to unfold at the right time which might never come.

Why am I happy?

I’ve been in a relationship for more than 11 years. Yeah! Eleven years. I just woke up realizing that I should let go of the person who wants freedom and aloneness and doing such has lessened the pain.

It’s an intimacy, I won’t forget. I still remember him in every corner of my room. I can vividly recall everything:  His eyes full of tears, I hear his laugh and I see his smile.

But…

Why can’t I be sad?

Why can’t I cry?

Why am I happy?

I really tried to save the relationship and to still be a part of his life but I realized and learned that there is a kind of love that in order to grow, you must go on separate ways.

In that way, hatred can never surpass love. Good memories will never be forgotten.

I loved him because he showed me uncountable kindness. He was an ideal man, a perfect lover.  But the heart can never be deceived by idealism for it understands things that the mind can’t comprehend.

My only wish is for him to be happy and to experience wholeness in emptiness just like what I had experienced. That he might find meaning to his life and happiness on his journey. My hope for him is to be appreciated and be loved for he deserves loyalty and respect.

I experienced tranquility in freedom and happiness in aloneness.