Misunderstood

Sometimes, you feel angry to a friend who hurt you. Simply, you feel misunderstood. But would never want your friends to understand where you are coming from because if they do it only means that they have experienced the kind of pain that you never wish to happen to anyone.

You still want them to believe in ideal things, a bright future and undying love. That preparing for the said future keeps them going for they serve as a balance and remind you of your old self. That once in your life, you have been too anxious of the future.

As a friend, remind them that no one is in control and whatever plans they have for the future will not turn out perfectly as they planned.

There would always be twists in life. And by that time, wish them to see the gift of living in the now.

Planning is good but should not lead to anxiety. The illusive future is beautiful. But nothing beats how the present takes a breath away.

True, it’s not about the plans but how you enjoy the journey, the people as you reach towards the future that you are hoping for.

You don’t live in the future. Don’t let it control you.

Phenomenon

People should learn how to detach themselves from anything that pained them. The process is difficult but learning how to be detached from surreal ideas keeps a person not away from pain but to handle the feeling well. It helps a person to channel his energy into something productive. Once you are focused doing things for yourself, it might be a new hobby, a more challenging task at work or simply getting involve on things which you find interesting is a good way to start, you’ll tend to appreciate the phase that you are in right now.

FOCUS IN THE NOW. Listen to people’s ideas, drop the unhelpful thoughts and absorb and reflect on the helpful ones.

Be true to yourself, you are in pain. It hurts so bad because you have no control over it. You can’t change the situation and the only thing you can do is to face the reality that things are not happening the way you want it.  That no matter how much efforts you give, it seems that it would never be enough to get what you want.

Nothing is wrong with you. It’s how you perceive things and your stubbornness that are wrong. Listen, you cannot change a person’s feelings towards you. You can never dictate a person to feel what you want him to feel. And thinking about it all day long is not the right way of handling the process.

LET GO.   You must let it go. Stay focused in the now. Exactly at this very moment, think of what you can do. Exercise? Read a book? Meet a friend? Spend time with yourself? Set goals? Just think of the now, not about tomorrow, not about the future, not about regrets from the past. Inhale. Focus on what you are doing. Don’t think of what might go wrong. Don’t think of not having your heart’s desires.

LET LIFE DO ITS THING. Phenomenon happens for certain reasons. Series of events, human made or not but it does happen in an instance surprisingly without any delay. It shatters life. Catastrophically, changes our plans. Everyone’s life is a series of phenomena, abrupt, life threatening, earth shocking and catastrophic. But phenomena are interesting. It could be tested without even knowing the result of several hypotheses. That propositions can be like people. Some will be solidified through experimentation and some will be nullified, some would stay because we are still curious as to how they affect the phenomena. We postulate hypotheses; we theorize until one’s curiosity is satisfied.

Our feelings, how we associate love to people, how we curiously observe the details, how we cling onto our subjective hypotheses without scientific basis, without being tested, without statistical support will reach a conclusion but now just be in the process…

Why am I happy?

I’ve been in a relationship for more than 11 years. Yeah! Eleven years. I just woke up realizing that I should let go of the person who wants freedom and aloneness and doing such has lessened the pain.

It’s an intimacy, I won’t forget. I still remember him in every corner of my room. I can vividly recall everything:  His eyes full of tears, I hear his laugh and I see his smile.

But…

Why can’t I be sad?

Why can’t I cry?

Why am I happy?

I really tried to save the relationship and to still be a part of his life but I realized and learned that there is a kind of love that in order to grow, you must go on separate ways.

In that way, hatred can never surpass love. Good memories will never be forgotten.

I loved him because he showed me uncountable kindness. He was an ideal man, a perfect lover.  But the heart can never be deceived by idealism for it understands things that the mind can’t comprehend.

My only wish is for him to be happy and to experience wholeness in emptiness just like what I had experienced. That he might find meaning to his life and happiness on his journey. My hope for him is to be appreciated and be loved for he deserves loyalty and respect.

I experienced tranquility in freedom and happiness in aloneness.